Blarmpers!

Stories from the North

In a small town located about 270 km North of Calgary lives this fairly average sized family. A husband, wife and four perfect children.

The husband works away from home quite a bit, he usually sees his family every 16 days, depending on how busy his work is. The wife is quite used to him being away, and his days off often felt like a ‘visit’ or a crazy overbooked days of appointments and chores. She often said ‘It’s much easier to do it all while my husband’s home’, or ‘We’ll take a break on his next days off’, or ‘there is too much to do I had to book it all for when he’s home’… That went on for about 5 years!

One fine Friday evening the wife took a short trip to Calgary on business and to visit with family. While she was there her husband called and announced that he got a promotion -ok just to make it clear, not a ‘make more money’ promotion… rather a new job position with way less money – he calls it a ‘promotion-demotion’ har har har, and as of October 1st 2008 the husband will be home every night and every weekend!!!

So this merry wife went on about her business for the weekend. She went to visit her family who just a few days earlier brought a new bundle of joy to this world -a beautiful big baby girl.

While she visited she had to share the news and happily announced that her husband will be home every day… It went something like this:

“I am so excited I will have my husband ‘over’ every night!” Anything else she may have said was lost amongst the laughter!

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Fom the mouths of children

Ceili: Mom you need to get a new Ceili-Bird

Beth: Why is that?

Ceili: Because this one is broken.

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In the samll town of Devon,residents have been complaining of missing lotions, vaseline, creams and other squeezable greesy products. The mischief makers often leave trials behind, usually all over the floor, sink and in the toilet. They are described as two about 40 inches tall females. Usually the first clue is ‘quiet’ the second clue is ‘they are very quiet’ and the third clue is ‘ok they are way too quiet’…. by then it’s too late. Not a hope of saving the lotion bottle!

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Isaac: So, Karolina, what have you learned at shool today?

Karolina: Ummmm, nothing much…

Isaac: Well that sounds like a waste of a day.

Karolina: Oh! We did learn about waste.

Isaac (rolling his eyes): Glad to be of assistance.